111: goodbye
POSTED AT 06:29 AM

ckamz

talk about conincidence that this is blog number 111 nice number.

I will no longer be blogging with tabulas starting from today.

it has served me nice w all my lamentings and sob stories/heartbreak/complains blabalblablablabalbala..

but i think its becoming too much of a cry page.

from now on i will be blogging from ckamz.blogspot.com

now lets just hope i will update more (w pics too).

drop by then.

cheers.

thank u those few who ever come by to read my laments.

i promise less lamenting in the next blog.

well myb if i wanna lament i will just come back here.

hahaha!

110: mess
POSTED AT 08:55 PM

ckamz

I have not updated in months but i guess u ain't any surprised cause i start almost every entry the same way anyway... hahahaa..

well thats cause life has not been a smooth roller coaster ride for awhile now.

I haven't had a moment to stop worrying since... months months ago. 

niabeh feel like god testing me that I'm not religious enough is it so I get this shit?

until now still worrying..

and my internship here in wengen is... not the best thing that has ever happen thats for sure. myb if u compare to shit it can be slightly elevated but not too far away eh..

I've never felt so tested by my employers in such a way i cry every now and then i felt so stressed out to the point I doubt my own capabilities and I doubt my life choice.

That bad it is for a person like me that always ALWAYS think her life is on track. It has been an utter disaster the last 4 or 5 months. 

So now after numerous dissapointments I finally got something in spain to complete my internship. (school needs me to do 5 freaking months this !(*#hotel only opens 3 1/2 months). BUt then ley now the agent for the accomodation after the initial very fast replies now sibeh nv reply me wor?!!! dun la treat me like that I very sien already soon I will die younger if always like that get get dun get.. get get dun get.. get get make u slowly wait in torture...

POKAI U WAN ME HEART ATTACK OR WHAT??

DAh la i dun stay w the most genius person around that over the few short 2 months i lived w her she can make her meer existence piss me off.

chun mou ley this person i tell u if she drop off the surface of the earth tmr i wouldn't give a damn.

Yes i am cruel i nv said i was kind u know i am mean myb that is why god is giving all this testing to me.

but u know i'm not going to be holy because OH~ everyone deserves a second chance..

ah fuck u la.. i am a very realistic person.

if u r stupid then U ARE STUPID.

dun try to be smart on me cause if i think u r then u fuckin are.

coconut head. 

RAWR.

but i can't take this shit no more please god please I will try to be more religous ok i really really need this get me accomodation there then in 3 weeks I will be in spain living for 3 months!

oh... god bless me.

also they say rabbit feng shui fantastic this year but my mumsy told me that the temple say MMYYYY personal luck not so good. WTF. 

 

Feeling: tulan

still not too late to say happy new year
POSTED AT 09:08 AM

ckamz

what happen to 2007?

It just went by in such a poof!

and i celebrated new years by working through it! HOW FUN!

not.

well ok i went for a short round of clubbin to celebrate after that but it was way after 12.. doesn't really count..

2007 has been such a ?

its not one of my favourite years. nah.. i dun think so.

but many things good and bad poofed into my life.

 

I graduated from my diploma in taylors.

I left for real to switzerland to further my studies.

I learned to appreciate my family.

I found my way to be on my own and be stronger.

Open relationships that lasted more than a year.

I couldn't let go.

I found out that there r many people who truly care bout me

I lose some weight!

my hair hasn't been this long since 3 years ago.

I did jobs in 4 different places.

I got sick of western cuisine.

nothing taste better than food in m'sia!

I found out I am actually rather patriotic. *AHEM AHEM*

i met some nice new friends.. who i came to like well.. ok there r some that.. i rather not meet again.. haha..

 

 

and i can go on and on and on when i suddenly remember some things.. so.. yea..

so now lets make some resolutions that i might forget in 2 days..

 

 

i do hope to stay in touch with my new friends in time to come as i might never see them again..

and to maintain old bonded friendships especially with those i care about most.. my besties..

and to always tell my parents i love them because i really do.. being away from home has thought me to truly appreciate them and that i love them so!!

i should be more driven for my career..

erm.. I SHOULD study harder.. hauhauhauahua.. *just act like u believe*

i should learn to let go and open up my heart to opportunities..

er.. lose weight.. again.. its always the other way round.. why..

and.. TO GO BACK TO M'SIA IN DECEMBER!! the food i'm coming to finish everything!

start cooking some "my style" food as I just bought a fondue and wok set..

safe more money.. i spend wayyy too much.. u just don't know.. i do.. it scares me..

 

Now there is one thing i really need.. i still need another 3 months internship!

who is going to offer me one right now?

i'm taking a big chance here by thinking that the hotel in greece is going to offer me an internship.. the lady is not coming back so soon yet and I really do want to wait for her.. ok 10 more days and then I've to start moving the ass...

anyways.. kam is working in the mountain alps of switzerland and with the snow all around.. trust me it IS pretty when it snows.. but u just imagine it lies there for a whole week no fresh snow everyone walking on it the dirt the dust the watever then the sun shines it MELTS... ITS GROSS. its GREY not white anymore and its slippery and cold. haha.

the view is gorgeous anyways but just that I see it everyday.. its becomes just the view. But still yes yes yes its NICE. if only i'm not the one working on the internship i'm on holiday i will probably have the time to appreciate it.

well kam finally is getting her off days back she has been workin from the 21 dec until 5 Jan in the morning with only 1/2 day off in between. She is so happy on the 5 Jan afternoon when she gets her 1/2 day off and the next whole day off she went down to interlaken and went shopping like crazy she spend more than half her pocket money in a day. and she bought enough instant noodles to last her for 2 weeks u would think she is starving. And had some nice siu mai but the noodles after that sucked as the lady put BEAN SPROUTS INSIDE HARLO BEAN SPROUTS IS SAYUR.... and is NOT SEDAP... and anyway the soup isn't that great..... but i think that restaurant actually isn't too bad i just ordered the wrong stuff.. i might just give it a try again if i go down again..

I saw this t-shirt i think but the shop was closed so i'm motivated to go check it out.. and its about 4 shops away from the restaurant. hehe.

 

have a great 2008 everyone I hope mine is too wish that it will be for me please even if i don't i will just pretend u did wish i will have a great year which i would spend half of it on internships anyway.

oh btw right now the boss i have.. is abit crazy.. my roommate too.. is abit off.. sigh.. jessie when r u coming to be my roommate.. when i can finally live w a rational normal like me person.

well, ciao ciao.

 

 

 

 

Feeling: content

108: OH BOY!
POSTED AT 03:08 AM

ckamz

I've not written in AGES.

I can't believe it. Things have been so busy KIND of but then again like time is just running beside me.

Less than a month the semester would be over already.

CAN U BELIEVE IT? I'm already here in swiss for 3 months a little more.

Weeks that i thought that I would have more time.. it was equally busy.

well but anyway i'm not here to rant about the past.

I'M SO EXCITED!!

i'm like a freaking kid!

SNOW! SNOW SO PRETTY!

it started snowing last night and I think the snow stayed the whole day in bulle.

But this afternoon i was in Bern so there wasn't any snow there. But when i came back there is snow.

It keeps snowing really like right now it still is. Maybe soon there will be so much I would get bored of it.

I don't think anytime soon though.

Kam hasn't seen snow in 2 1/2 years so mind her. And the last time was for awhile only.

I'm actually gonna live through this weather. Just imagine. OOOOO. Kam is totally excited that she feels kinda stupid about it. hahahaahha.

Ok need to get back to myb general education week work. That as well i thought that i got thrown into a shitty class that i din want to take. But it turned out to be so totally fun I really happy. ehehe.

Its like being a kid again really. Well i'm getting back to it about collecting rubbish. Cheers to u all i love u!

OH YA.. u see i can't stop once i start.

We had raclette in school for dinner too today! how nice is that!

i told my fren thats probably one of the MOST expensive dinner school ever served us. Came with wine too. And a Live "band". i say "band" cause it was only one person. hahaha. he is pretty cool though playing so many instruments my himself.

Alright now i really got to get on with my things!

lots lots of love to all the people! hauhahaha!

 

P.S. :- MY bday is in 5 days people!!!! ooooo..  but i think would be a rather lonely quite one this year. Then again... it was never really all that happening. We will see huh.. i'll keep u all posted! 

Listening to: Ratu - teman tapi mesra
Feeling: happy

107: and?
POSTED AT 01:34 AM

ckamz

feels like i've not blogged in awhile.

i think i've said it that i think too much but i will say it again.

hai.

i always spoil things by thinking too much n then wanna talk about it.

the only loser is me.

always me.

me.

me.

myb its not the guys problems then.

its just ME.

i'm crazy i think too much.

everytime same thing.

confront hoping things will get better.

but always turns up to be shit.

now i can only wish he isn't going to runaway from me.

i can only wish that things will get better or at least stay the same.

i still want to call u dear.

i still want u to call me dear.

i need a smack. 

Listening to: pcd - buttons
Feeling: numb

106: happy day
POSTED AT 05:47 AM

ckamz

Things were going so good today.

I've not felt things being so right in such a long long time.

I just feel like jumping around n bouncing up n down in esctasy..

booze for me anyone? hahaha nah its too early in the week need to wait abit.. hehee..

Been great since this morning until now.

 

I spend the whole morning chatting w someone dear to me.

then finally my room got cleaned.

Rooms division class got cancelled i was suppose to do a presentation today. MORE TIME TO PREPARE! hehehehe.. ok that i'm not sure is good or bad.. cause if i did it today i din hv to think bout it anymore.. oh well.. happy anyways..

then the happiest news of the day...

me, moi, will be doing her internship in SWITZERLAND! yay! yay! yay!

its a small hotel up in the mountains.. cannot even reach by car.. but its a lovely little town.. there will be snow in the winter hohoho its a ski resort town.. get paid as well.. how good is that....

i've been so worried about not getting an internship here.. i was like how la wat if i dun get la wats gonna happen i wanna go back to asia but daddy will be like nnnooo.... i get his point but that time i was being kinda desperate.. hahahaha... i was homesicky...

but yea anyway like it totally made my day after that.. i got to chat w another person who was dear to me.. how happy..

both the ppl who r so dear to me.. i got to chat w them for quite long... happy mou happy i'm am so so happy..

i got to chat w mummy n daddy as well n well right now there is this happiness plastered in my brains. i'm grinning in my mind. WAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA.

i went crazy uploading pictures as well. i put a reasonably lot of photos for you all to view in my facebook account. Well i'm sorry thats the only thing that i could upload to the rest is just not working due to the KIND internet system that i have here in my school. Oh well. better something than nothing i should just like shut up. oh wait i won't.. i wanna just complain n whine about it.. it makes my day more interesting.. hahaha..

I should be sleeping soon..

i'mastillthinkingofmalaysianfood 

 ahahahahahaha this is something that will never cure.. till i return..

well anyway i love malaysia.. i got my "uncle" here who met my parents last weekend in singapore... well he brought me my malaysian flag!! yay i can hang it up now when i go get it that is one of the weekends that is.. hehe.. n some other stuff from home.. happy happy..

Well yes life is getting better i can say i am starting to enjoy myself much more..

(myb because i spent almost close to 2 weeks researchin on a subject we got no answer to so time was spend quicker than expected.. ehhe)

we got solutions in the end anyways.. suppose to present today.. lecturer fell sick.. hhmmm.... its ok.. doesn't matter now..

gonna sleep now and anyone who doesn't have facebook.. u can ask me for the link i think i will be able to show u the pictures anyways.. or the easier solution.. get a facebook account today!! ahhaha..

love u peps! muah! 

Reading: Jack Finney - About Time
Feeling: happy happy

105: its happening!
POSTED AT 05:41 AM

ckamz

today was like a nightmare TO ME.

well actually no it started like on tuesday night n the whole of wed morning as well.

ITS HAPPENING I SWEAR ITS HAPPENING

guess what happened

i'm being a typical malaysian i'm so malaysian i didn't know i am.

This is the only thing i saw in my head in that duration.

 

char kuey teow

ipoh hor fun

prawn mee 

curry mee (how often i eat this?!?! i wanna eat it too suddenly!)

pan mee

nasi lemak

hokkien mee

STEAMBOAT

mihun soup

mummy's fried rice

mushrooms n mien kan

cantonese fried noodles

siew long pau

dim sum  

duck rice at state  

my peanut soup 

ipoh hor fun

prawn mee

mushrooms

mushrooms

mushrooms 

and i keep thinking about it again....

and again..

and again.. 

 

 

 

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

OMG i wanna eat i wanna eat so so bad its driving me crazy!

imagine eating them like yum so good the smell the taste OH!

its so good you can get an orgasm just eating them right now! HAHAHAHAAHAA 

N TODAY of ALL THE DAYS my tourism lecturer decided to show a promotial video of SINGAPORE.

nia beh u know la how close their food is to ours. when i saw the part of the food i was like NOOO. BAD. no good no good omg i wanna eat that!

 

food here is good u know but its just not malaysia stuff man.

char kuey teow was one of the first things i craved for.. n i'm not even a big fan of it. i'm weird. 

i can't wait to go back to malaysia AND JUST EAT.

u don't need an answer why i am so fat now do you?

i'm thinking of trying to lose weight here n happily gain everything back when i go back to malaysia.

so who will sponsor me a plane ticket back home and we go and an eating fest? i can't wait to eat eat eat eat eat. 

Feeling: hungry in the mind

104: finally here
POSTED AT 02:02 PM

ckamz

Well I’m finally here in swiss already after like months n months of talking about it.

Its harder than I think it would be. I probably just need the time to adjust. And I’m trying my best really.

I was in germany for 3 days. Well only in Frankfurt. N i must say.. eerrr well it’s a nice place.. but I dunno I just find it.. not really fascinating. Why? WELL myb bcos half the ppl I meet are SO FREAKING RUDE. No offence but seriously they r like way rude. There r those I must say r really nice n all. Well imagine how nice it this situation. We were on a day tour we walk into the restaurant we were suppose to go.. then we just asked if we can sit outside she was like NO. not like no as in nicely as in NO by how to tell a dog not to walk into your house. I was like !(#*!? Fine. Then my dad came in later so he just walked in then the lady told him to get out of the way. Well obviously this is my dad he didn’t give a shit about her so he just walk in the she was like blablablabla my dad started arguing w her telling her off she was rude n stuff. I admit la I also like OMG so embarrassing but I can’t deny she is such a bitch. Its makes me so happy at the end of the day when we returned for wine tasting nobody bought ANY WINE.

The air stewardess was also like.. well I dunno if u wanna call that rude. Rather she probably treated me like I was dumb. It was food time the she asked pasta or pork? So I asked her how the pork is done.. u know wat she reply me ar? U know pork.. it’s a meat it’s the pig…. I was like WTF I OBVIOUSLY know wat freakin pork is! Myb she is too stupid to understand la hor.. finally she show it to me then I was like oh.. I want pasta la.. actually the pork looks pretty good I was just being bratty.. NVM la hor myb ass la pasta its actually like mee goreng only wat.. now I think she is stupid la. Actually I’ve a whole lot to complain bout the flight. I dunno why but its so freaking hot in the plane. When I went up I was like EH y no air cond thingy wan like u know the individual ones u can adjust. NO such thing. It was kinda stuffy to me I dunno y. its like normally u sit in the plane not moving for like an hour already u feel cold. After like 10 hours of flight only I finally feel cold. That also a lil only. Next time if I’ve the money I’ll fly MAS or SIA first class. HAHAHAHA well SIA has apparently the biggest seat in first class at the moment. I WANT!

On the 4^th I flew over to swiss and stayed at a friend’s house. My future “home” I should say where its where I’ll go back for Christmas and weekend hols and stuff. But… there got no internet lar.. how eh.. so wat wan… there is another uncle who has like internet in his house.. so perhaps I might go crashing at his place too at times.. ehhehe.. oh well but the place, my “home” is pretty nice in certain ways.. its nicely out in the countryside.. planting all kinda plants.. apple tree walnut tree carrots grapes blackberries raspberries cabbages tomatoes pears plums god I dunno wat else are there. And there are like 2 dogs and 3 cats. A lot like a farmhouse liao hor.. hehe..

The first few days I was here the weather was pretty bad. Ok, no the day I landed n the next day was nice there was sun shining and under the shade it was cooling. But the following days.. rain n rain n rain.. I still remember I came to take a look at my school on Thursday n that particular day.. it rained non stop. RAIN RAIN RAIN. N its so cold! U call this summer ka? But these few days weather is lookin better at least.

I really dunno how to put this all down in words. My campus is nice. My room is quite nice too and got a roomie from hk. Everything is nice and lovely I know I got the chance of like a lifetime. But. I’m finding it hard. To adapt perhaps. Myb cause majority of my classmates already know each other since like sem1 and now I just join in at sem4. I need to work hard. I need my confidence back I dunno where I put it. And really lor I say I shy.. cause I am wan ma actually.. dun la come tell me HA U SHY WAN MEH? Rubbish I am la ok.. hahahaha…

Reading: wild swans - jung chang
Listening to: ciara - 1,2 step
Feeling: gloomy